Sawdust and Diamonds

I'm a twenty--something with no idea what to do with the my life. So for now, I'm working, trying not to make big mistakes (unsuccessfully)... being unapproachable. The usual stuff.

I ran track for the last 12 years, love to bike, personal train off and on. I have a varied taste in music, but I have a soft spot for classical... and anything that makes me feel all dancy... i'm taking prerequisites to get into Physician Assistant School as well. Love me some science courses.

I like guys. Totally wish I weren't so awkward sauce at dating though.

These insecurities.

Lately Ive realized how insecure I can become. It’s exacerbated by boys… and dating and love and everything tied into those topics. I wonder where.it.comes from. It seems to me that it comes from a place of fear. Fear of pain and rejection and failure. Am I so afraid of these things happening that I tell myself I’m not good enough or have I been burned and that made me feel like I’m not good enough? Or is me believing society and the media saying I’m not good enough. Or a cocktail of all these things? Whatever the case. It deserves a deeper look. Ill dive into tomorrow. Its been quite some time sine I’ve tried to decipher a deep seated issue of mine.

5 months ago

mattycakes posted this